The first time I read this was two years ago today, the day before my husband Ian’s funeral.

“God’s people have their trials. It was never designed by God, when He chose His people, that they should be an untried people. They were chosen in the furnace of affliction; they were never chosen to worldly peace and joy.”

At the time, I was troubled about the possible effect Ian’s death would have on each of our children – especially Timothy, who was at the hospital when it happened. He alone was given the news by the doctor, and bore the responsibility of phoning the rest of us. Imagine yourself in those circumstances, reading the following…

“As surely as the stars are fashioned by His hands, and their orbits fixed by Him, so surely are our trials allotted to us; He has ordained their season and their place, their intensity and the effect they shall have upon us.” *

What a powerful reminder of God’s care over His children! He knew how much I needed that message on that particular day. I’d always believed God sovereignly orders or allows the events in my life, but this went so much deeper. Not only does He ordain what happens, but even the intensity, and the effect they will have on us! The suddenness of my husband’s passing left me with another fear – what will happen to my children when I die too? But this timely message set my heart at rest, and I knew there was no need to fear for my children’s future. I can leave them in God’s hands. I can entrust them to His care.

Today I face a different situation altogether, with the loss of our church and the impending move of a close friend to the other side of the country. Both losses are devastating in their respective ways. But there are so many lessons for me in this, and I do NOT want to fail. This reading gives me much hope.

And in a similar vein is the evening reading…

“Sad hearts have peculiar skill in discovering the disadvantageous point of view from which to gaze upon a trial; if there were only one slough in the world, they would soon be up to their necks in it, and if there were only one lion in the desert, they would hear it roar.” *

Now that is a great picture of the person I do NOT want to be! So what is the answer? Read on…

“Faith’s way of walking is to cast all care upon the Lord, and then to anticipate good results from worst calamities.” *

Some of the worst calamities of my life so far have been followed by very good results. Most notable were the death of my first husband, Bob, on July 12, 1978; and that of my second husband, Ian, on March 3, 2019.

Every once in a while my readings from Spurgeon and Chambers blend together into one longer reading that is particularly meaningful for that day. Such are today’s readings. Oswald Chambers writes…

“No one is ever united with Jesus Christ until he is willing to relinquish not sin only, but his whole way of looking at things.” *

“We must relinquish all pretense of being anything, all claim of being worthy of God’s consideration. There will have to be the relinquishing of my claim to my right to myself in every phase.” *

This is not an easy concept to grasp, but it is vitally important. Outside of Christ, I am nothing, and God does not owe me anything. The fact is, whatever happens to me is not about me at all – it is about God, and His over-arching purposes. I can resist, and be miserable, or I can yield to Him, and become the woman He intends me to be.

“Am I willing to relinquish my hold on all I possess, my hold on my affections, and on everything, and to be identified with the death of Jesus Christ?… Go through the crisis, relinquish all, and God will make you fit for all that He requires of you.” *

Here again is a hard lesson, but it comes with a bright promise of what is to come, on surrendering, yielding, relinquishing all to Him. I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know what “church” will look like for me, once the Covid restrictions are loosened. I don’t know what form of ministry my Lord has for me, now or in the future. But I do know that I am immensely grateful for today’s readings, and for the God who has proven Himself over and over as the God of All Comfort.

* All quotes come from the March 8^th readings from two devotional books – “Morning & Evening”, by Charles Spurgeon, and “My Utmost for His Highest”, by Oswald Chambers.